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Cancer in Zenith

by J. Lehmus



WHAT IS MEANT by space travel? What is a rocket? The Moon is the Earth's .......? Venus and Mars are .......?

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MIGRAINE DREAMS ... shedding bitter crimson into wintry city ... luminous bodies ... towering dawn ... February decay ... manifold mosaics ... malaise, nausea, diarrhoea, angled open ... move ... the open furnace ... ... ... angels shedding their shell-marble, shining material ... comet ... seminal similarity ... Christliness, throbbing chromosomes ... spiralling splinters ... white wings approaching. ...

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PHANTOM CHAOTIC chariots ... ancient chariots of white stone ... element chemical daemons. tremors. ... epicentre voices ... flares searing, chariots scarlet diarrhoea, tears ... azure electromagnetic incandescent chariots substance ... curve free temple being: element materials, themselves, breath. red green ... yellow pyres ... many-coloured flames ... empty grey corner, view over the descending reflexion, clear orange ... burning fire altering white-covered deities ... waves with cavities ... afterglow heavy exposure ... black lizards. ...

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THE AZURE pouring mournful blurred nausea ... frail inflammations, blackened metal ... dawn ... burning frail bodies ... hundred hands ... white dried innumerable offerings ... ... ... procession, veils of towering ice ... marching ... veils spiralling ... desert fire altering shrines ... white fire in air ... distant dawn ... ... ... they see white tender, red letters ... somatic Lamb member, symbol Limbs ... migraine aggregations on altering canvas ... hideous like skeletal ravens, monstrosities ... a spiralling wall ... filthy illuminations ... crosses of ulcering black metal, serpents ... painful opaque ulcering faces ... ... ... white soothing ... the funeral weary eyes, white mantle ... filthy survivors. ...

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THEY WERE marching, a mournful procession through veils of spiralling, wall towering snow. The ice, ever-surrounding, burning through these frail bodies. Dante, with Virgil, observing, white and grey overhanging vast openness dullness sky covering this frozen procession. Falling bodies. Soldiers marching on a television screen. Dotted line movement, children squatting, black clouds, a reportage of bombardment, flash sequences, hysteria, black holes, silver screen, propaganda. Views of white desolation: warm water running in open sewers, diseased dogs. Cold light. Iron crosses rest upon ulcering skin, old inflammations, burnt by this cold blackened metal, serpents of lymph mercury from anew sores.

Others, in burning regions, afar from the icy recess: Christ, mystics, hermit saints in ever-duplicating traditions, all-one seated in scorching sunlight, desert burning fire on altering canvas, dry black lizards. Mortifications, shrines of ancient thirsty deities, white stone; others of mortuary black basalt, tentacular Moloch trails dried blood left from innumerable offerings, cracked vases, glass all shattered here, yellow craniums.

Red crucifixion, black green... my John in crimson gloves and scarlet cancer's embrace ... opening orange ... his phosphorescent countenance ... melancholy soul ... shattered wings, lifeless aluminium foil bodies ... these martyrs progress / fields ... silent Lamb shedding the new mute reapers' Wine shift slowly ... Grail ... neckveins slit open.

The funeral promenade: weary Mary clad in filthy white mantle, blatant eyes, hirudis medica, VERE FILIVS DEI ERAT ILLE. Survivors. Christliness... washing hands... birds of prey, ecce homo. Red fumed desert plain. Pieta on a silent battle field. Chests and sides pierced: gore, bayonet, red exploding mass. "They with burning wings, white wings I see approaching," white hands soothing hands tender, red cross letters writ, gratitude, psyche fractioned. In a blood-brown coloured sepia film red sailed ships passing, we follow the river: collapsed bridges, twisted metal, boxed seat, the airy pressure, tunnels, weight of the railway cars, ears blocked. Bodies collected, broken lines, extending railway tracks. White angels standing white lithe white-covered beyond Ural, angels dancing in silk and satin sedatives. We wait, lying flowing black clusters flowing out of focus, bright opal purple and primrose-black, waiting: (nothing is) flowing all in liquid reverie, white hands, dove, migraine dreams. As if in antiseptic hands, no fissure.

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AVCTE DNI IHV XEI EXORCEIO TE P ISTA TRIA NOIA EIXAI EBON TI.GRAMATON IN NOIE PRIS ET FILII ET SPUS SCTI AMEN

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FIELDS SILENT shedding silent Wine, shift neckveins slit ... sepia red river ... crucifixion in crimson opening ... emit horrible limbs distorted ... river flowing slowly ... bridges, twisted airy lines extend ... altering ultra blue blueness aluminium blurred clusters ... linking sunlight, connected tunnels. ...

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HERETlC PARANOIA, inquisition pyres in many-coloured flames; some pass in silence, others emit horrible agony. Limbs shattered and bent, distorted beyond recognition: mercy. Your Lambs shedding bitter tears, crimson caked. I move into shadows, away from the open furnace, empty grey corner where frost still grows... Wintry view over the city, descending sun reflexion in clear cold orange. Hideous dogs nightly come out, like skeletal ravens, monstrosities, carrying away what there is left. The colours are written: red, white, black. This death through fire. Curve I: free in air.

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MISTY CLEARINGS is to shreds softly linen in leavings mist goes thither thither this clearing to mist thickening clear devouring mist to cling absorbing these covering open descending rays ring misty fingers of this weary winds sun bright hiss white to clear sins this orb uncovered fear things to eye through the clear things lost in the veil of mist defeat clings mist mist falling here to clearing mist nuclear white around these dead rings in mist hear cities silence ringing say no I will in silence white vanish under the dawn mist upon the foam foam sky dissolving to snow dead winter

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WHAT IS it? grey shining mass ... material ... luminous it seeps two bodies, doubled, I am waiting mine hands outstretched / grey covering shelter ... blue glare plutonium bodies ... leaden mirrors ... quartz glass absorbing ... ECILA ... ECILA... ... congressum cum daemone ... Caesar cryptography codes ... vaults blue plated ... inscribed and illuminated shining colours ... spectravision dream deciphered ... ... ... We are here, or were... two severed voices distant in silver dawn ... one thousandfold ... Yesod albedo borrowed light celestial ark ... morning dawn ... steril wintry nuclear dawn extending dead bark ... two severed Iynx voices reverberating silver Israfel ... piezoelectric voices

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...A GIANT meteorite. But neither debris of the meteorite nor a crater marking the point of impact can be found. The search brings almost no results. The tons of excavated earth do not yield a single splinter. Furthermore, instead of a crater, there is just an ordinary swamp of a common type in the Siberian forestland, with its permafrost.

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PEARLY OPAL Ural, small flames ... seismic deities ... column silver holy Calymene. polyp, polyps ... CNS mosaics ... enormous egos, those phosphorescent crosses ... seminal reminiscence ... gemlike memories returned ... RNA oval ... reminiscences of luminous gemlike mammals ... luminous bodies ... ... ... silent field, sides pierced: exploding with burning wings ... radioactive daemons ... magnetism ... plutonium flux ... plutonium weblike embrace ... poisonous twisted issuance . ...

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THE MYTH has it soaring over the mountain range, like white glass fume, poisonous curtains arising from the horizon... Never was there such painful white before, cold burning eyes opaque, retinal hypersensitivity. They came, were called the Moon Children, while sailed, crescent, nascitur, shining electric foam-born, azure white throbbing electromagnetic pulse, in incandescent chariots of some white substance, plasterlike metal and towering silver needles: now wailing voiced arabesque gliding back and forth over observatories, preserving our message for the generations to come.

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CLAY LIVED on our planet ... nil posse creari de nihilo / territory vaguely seen ... landing in high mountains ... House of the Lord ... exploring caves ... came down from the clouds / stone discs ... why should I return to flesh and bones? ... in their gliders ... double groove spirals (recovered from the grave were four magnificent alabaster vessels) ... frail, stunted men ... two decades ... our men, women and children hid in the caves ... Enoch lived prior to the Flood and is still alive ... the secret of the spirals ... adhering rock particles ... similar things can be read ... averaging four feet two inches in height ... the angels take human couples to the Earth to propagate ... yellow-faced ... electric circuit groove writing ... heart of wood ... revulsion for the enormous heads ... fast horses / the rising sun ... celestial eggs ... animals and hunting scenes ... huge craniums / burial grounds ... strange figures dressed ... born from bronze, gold and silver ... Castor and Pollux ... space suits / ritual headdress ... eggs fallen from heaven ... analogy with birds ... covered with concentric circles ... fish frescoes / spherical helmets ... in the heart of Sahara ... ringed for identification ... Helen and Nemesis ... bonafide impressions / breath-filters and antennae ... containers with human beings / resurrection and ascension ... sheer fantasy ... the star alleged to move and stop ... angels flying lit up the whole of the sky ... control column ... enveloping the legs of the angels / spaceships on the Crucifix ... streamlined bodies ... angels watching the flight ... ancient icon-painters cover their eyes and ears ... the sun depicted rising in the west ... seems to be backing away for fear of being blinded or deafened ... smoke billows...

*

CHRIST WAS a Moonless Sky man who came down to Earth. Some scientific puzzles lent from Space. Man is a link in a long chain of evolution that started on some other planet and continues on this one.

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COLONNADES AND porticoes ... special grandeur ... dark blue goblet ... the doors and windows open onto another lawn ... the sphinxes ... rose a trifle ... like a block of ice ... as the shafts of sunlight fall through the large windows ... the cables grew taut ... paths leading into the park ... illumines the haughty faces ... passed away an hour and a half before sunset ... green malachite ... I bought a small rose, deep blood red ... tattered black tissue ... conventional icon style ... elaborate design ... disintegrate into dust ... some heavy tool ... black with these "tears of the earth" ... the dead czars ... ceilings glow in the soft light ... filled with bitter drama ... female, yet with certain masculine features / black wood covering ... she smiles sadly beneath the dark half- decayed cassock ... cut-glass pendants like drops of sparkling ice tinkle softly to the slightest movement ... the skull of Adam ... its face is a firmly outlined oval, it has a narrow chin and a strange curl on the left side of the forehead ... an oval protuberance ... beryllium, chromium, silver, molybdenium and zinc ... fractures and ulcers ... tape recorders to preserve her voice ... before the disinterment... ... (The hair-ribbons which lay on the sheets yesterday are dead, too, and don't frighten me any more. A white azure collar sets off the pure beauty of her face with its wistful smile. The "Sleeping Beauty" got under my skin and gave me no peace. I felt I had to go into that hollow of a cave.) ... ... embroidered on it was the scene of Golgatha ... bathed in bluish light ... an ancient Greek burial urn ... the dead man had tried to hide his face...

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THE CRIMSON Drawing Room: "It has retained its beauty and charm and never seems to age."

I am inside a small chamber, relating visions. Tape recorders' soft hiss. Fevered speech, brittle pages from 1920's scientific journals.

Lean bitch moving in her sleep... eyes brown amber, parted lids... low voice... running through a dark shore passage, nightly, autumn... white moon upon the black waters, creeping frost. Constellations revolving, satellites, bright ellipsoid lines across photographic plates. Fancy crossing the Atlantis. Aviation pioneers, opium seers. Mine wings white pinioned piercing the foil metal film azure glistering silver starry canopy. Lucifer unbound, Lucifer unanime perigeum ... apogeum.

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SIGNAL MIGRAINE figures like silent FILII ... shift Children, chimaeras ... absorbing daemons ... message generations. ...

*

I SWITCH play-back voices, echoes of dream generations, our mother Cynthia from the distant stars, canine remains frozen inside the capsule (chromosomes colloidion print). DNA spiral images depicted, binary complexes, flowing charts of molecular arrange. The soul itself monochromatic, black and white? Genetic chess boards generated in computer memory, cyberspace structures, nanoconstruction. Destiny gene, destructivity, distorted compositions, genetic cancer, mosaicism in intra- soul, physical matter-spirit. Virtual construction with computers processing upon the genetic data, rudimentary consciousness harboured in electronic neural structures. Electronic incarnation, life systems stored, censors, humming processors, material immortality. Viral generation, the virus culture itself, merged within the infected organism, as a conscious entity with ego and individual memory. Viral existence, symbiosis, germspore growth, intraneural factories. A view from within. Monuments exploded. "How cold!"

The medical shipment cargo, aerial distribution in three waves. Hypnotics and hallucins: terror through medicine, encircled in sleep, like the collapse of a sleep disease, some hideous dream of Yi Ching. We are here to assure that every word is recorded. Lines of logic, expanded concept, logical superimposition. Green hall, isolated, connected with electronics, television screens. Personnel: military officials, mathematicians, logicians, chess champions, mnemonists. All summed up, deleted. I cannot sleep with mine dreams separate logic. Supervision, recorders of binary hieroglyphics, charts drawn, continuous: "What is here? I cannot remember."

*

TABLE LABORATORY labyrinth. face face back sacred, sacred, had had made page pages Magnesium failing rain rain rain rain. faintest fainting, hair take balance. wall, falling falling. came can man Can can't dancing dancing, hand, hand: hands hands hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. hands. vanishing marble marble marble, garden darker narrow parted parted ... ... sat watching watching, water water, water, water. water. water. waters waters, waters, waters. patient laughing. laughter, faun wavering waves, dawning. day lay may May days gaze gaze above, absent observing scape, action. (do advance We He we we we We be be me, Dead head ready pearly hears weary beating beautiful, weblike, receive receiver meachanisms, neck, see see? feeble deep seeping weeping feet, left weightless, veils, veils, veins melancholy held velocity, membrane, membrane. ten senses, bent depart, sepia, sequenced her Her her her her her her her her Her Her her. herbs, here Here here nere here here, here. merging eerie, perplexed certain nerves nervous descends descends descends, deserted ... / ... rest. wet wet. detached, retina. level, few dew dew dew dew dew, dew. dew.

*

WHITE-NOISE, pulsating, continuous. We will examine her ears. Tunnel. Her hands failing the direction, falling. These inner mechanisms, you know, the balance. This here a coiled labyrinth. I am watching my own body, as if the particular case had no importance to myself, unmoving, eye-level, hair spread upon wet marble floor, mouth slowly opening.

He sat by the side of her bed, a frequent visitor. Blue lights through the window, short laughter, hardware of clattering steel. Here the children are watching, from the above, perplexed and laughing. Slight tremor on the finger-tips. It does not hurt. Might be a symptom of some latent neural disorder. Thus we follow the line, please look close at the tip of my finger, close your left eye: this hand, like the picture on the wall, the sinews, crossing nerves in it, five fingers. The doctor held her wrists in his hands, observing the change in her voice. You understand, suspended nervous excitement that is discharged suddenly. In such situation, the patient is not responsible of her action. She hears voices, feeble sighs. Dead a few days before, the poet is drawing signs in haste, O give him the voice that conquers the world. Truly, embrace us, you frenzied senses, parted lips, black dress, pearly buttons up the back chain of the neck, lungs like gristly fists.

On some night there was thunder. The wind was beating around the house, it howled on the river. Once the thunder sounded eerie, but the noise of rain transmuted all sounds. Before morning the sky cleared. The stars came out. She was ready to depart, on some night. The silence and pity on the birth of a female baby. Filth. The cold night. Their cold hands, the weeping mother. Distant funeral procession, black minds speechless... take your loathsome shadows witn you. I am wet. The rain descends, white noise clear rosy waters on the floor. The room is deserted, books dissolving in the rain.

A faun playing flute. A woman is dancing, in the mist of morning, black ink stains the ground, the paper, her face and hands. Winds whirling, fainting, passing collapse, bent feet, the woman is dancing by water. Her steps alternating: present, absent; long, short. She is elevating her body in the morning mist. Ascension. The sound of the flute is circling. Swift dervish gyres in the grass and on the silent waters. Over the waters, the sky is like white paper, the images mcde visible with some strange chemical, dreamy wavering figures on the retina, I am opening and closing my hands. C1ear voice, here the lungs of a small bird, the chained spine. The voice ascends from here, strong. The day is dawning. A man in the garden of herbs, collapsed on the ground. Blind eyes, white, in veils, white lips, some silvery instrument. Through the arc of light. We cannot be certain if the receiver understands the signals transmitted. The sound must be infinitely subtle.

The rain had stopped. Under the dim grey sky I lay in the white grass, listening to the voice. The filamented lichens, the poet's process, monument and the bright spring. Eye. Bluish white membrane, white blossoming orbs, ethereal voice descends into the mist merging and circles in bright lines. I am lying in the moist white grass. You may attach your gaze to some distant fixed point: place the hands on your eyes (do not close the eyes) and slowly count to sixty. It is possible to move only short distances, although often with considerable speed, but afterwards it is necessary for the eyes to rest.

In dotted lines her movements draw upon the moist paper. The oval signs, tiny black eyes, pins in white flesh. With her head bowed the woman turns the leaves of a book, the morning light falling on the table through a narrow window. I am lying in the grass and listening to the voice. My flesh shrouded in a mist. Black dew. Clear mist in silvery flesh. Can you see? I am guidng you with my finger-tips. White speckled birds, I am here. Blue light from outside. The dew touches my flesh.

The voice: five strings, silver fingers, like a transparent glove. The dew touches my flesh. Her eyes: vanishing irides, invisibility, black dew, white orbs, shining white, all white is sacred, her eyes. Her eyes. White orbs upon black waters. Fishes fly under water. Their limbs. Shroudlike movement, weightless, solemn, detached. In soft water. Hold forth your hands. Five fingers under water. Bluish white flesh, membrane, how white and beautiful. This is the lung of a small bird. Blister. Of a strange fish. These are the wings. The enamel breasts. Shining white orbs. Marble eyes. Magnesium light, all white is sacred. The dew in this white flesh, sepia, branching darker blach veins, your voice descends upon me, Mneme, I am lying in the veils, the sky is of white milk, my eyes are closed, the stars in their brilliance are black eyes in white flesh,

_____

APPENDIX.

Women's Attitudes Regarding Soul Cancer

Several months ago the Gallup Organization, Inc. conducted a poll for the American Cancer Society. A broadly representative, large sample of women were interviewed in depth to determine medical care habits, including soul examinations; knowledge and beliefs concerning the incidence and curability of soul cancer; and attitudes on topics ranging from the sex of the physician to the preferred treatment of soul cancer as well as reactions to soul removal.

The final report is a document of nearly l50 pages of detailed analyses - and it is an eye-opener for the medical profession and for those interested in public education. Here are some of the highlights:

Most women in the U.S. do not have their souls examined by a physician with any frequency or regularity.

Only 12 percent of all women know that most soul lumps are not cancer.

Seventy-seven percent of all women know at least one woman who has had soul cancer.

Almost two thirds of women believe that a blow or injury to the soul can produce soul cancer and less than half know that a family history of soul cancer increases the chances that a woman might develop cancer herself.

Simple removal tends to be thought of as "extensive" surgery, while radical removal is perceived as an "extreme" form of treatment.

At this time, women are far more confident about nonrecurrence of cancer if the entire soul is removed, rather than only the lump. If only the cancerous lump is removed, 42 percent are optimistic about nonrecurrence. In contrast, after soul removal, 71 percent are optimistic.

Soul removal causes emotional trauma but fear of cancer contributes slightly more to this trauma than does removal.

Ninety-two percent of women think that a normal life pattern can probably be maintained or re-established after a soul removal.


© Copyright J. Lehmus.

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